andy crouch

Before I got my driver’s license, my dad scratched out a hand-written contract (of sorts) that outlined what I committed to doing and not doing behind the wheel.

Writing and cutting/pasting ideas from several sources,¹I put together the same kind of thing for my kids, but this time for navigating the wonder and gravity of the technology that they are confronted with all the time.

Like the driving agreement, the real power of this is not because it’s a “contract,” but because it helps to spark good conversation about being purposeful with work and play in a screen-saturated age.

Also, here is a downloadable .pdf version.

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Our family chooses to be tech-wise

Prelude

I, __________, understand that devices like phones, iPads, and computers are privileges. And, along with my parents, I commit to establishing structured limits: in quantity, frequency, and moral character.

Content

Devices and the Internet are tools for learning and entertainment

• If it’s not something that I would be comfortable reading or watching on TV together with my parents, then it’s not something that I’ll read or watch on my device.
• When I have questions about a particular site, video, or app, I’ll ask my parents.
• I won’t download apps, music, or video without first seeking my parents’ permission.
• I understand that much of what is online is false or only partly true. With the guidance of my parents, I will seek information from trustworthy sources. And I will think critically about what I encounter.

Communication

Devices and the Internet are tools to communicate

• When I’m tempted or curious about something, rather than using my device to ask about it, I’ll ask my parents or another trustworthy Christian adult. Google and Facebook (and all the rest) don’t care about me. My parents do!
• If a person or company that I don’t know contacts me online (apps, phone, texts, emails, facebook, etc.) I’ll let my parents know, just like I would if any stranger tried to contact me.
• If I receive anything online that is hurtful or makes me feel uncomfortable, I’ll tell my parents right away, just like I would if someone was hurtful or made me feel uncomfortable in person.
• If I wouldn’t say it in person, I won’t say it online. My words, photos, and anything else that I send or post will be kind, and I will seek the best for others.
• I will never share any personal information (like address, age, phone number, school, etc.) on my device without first asking my parents.
• Before I send or post anything, I’ll ask myself, “Would I want this on the front page of the Chicago Tribune tomorrow morning?” If not, I won’t send it.

Clock

Devices and the Internet are tools for work and play

• I understand that the time I had planned to get work done can be suddenly wasted on Facebook, chatting, watching YouTube clips, or a zillion other things. I will use device time purposefully.
• I won’t sleep with my devices in my room or use them after bedtime. And I won’t turn to them first thing in the morning. They’re great, but far less so than real life with my real friends and real family.
• If my parents ask me to put a device away, I will do so without complaining.
• I commit to going completely screen-free on a daily (at least one hour), weekly (one day), and annual (one week) basis.

Postlude

My parents — and God, who is my heavenly parent — love me so much that there’s nothing that I can do online or offline to make them love me more or to make them love me less. This is so incredible that sometimes it’s hard to understand or believe! But it’s true.

This kind of love means that our family looks out for and wants the best for one another.

Footnotes

1. Rule of Life, The Tech-Wise Family, Ourpact and Covenant Eyes.

   I chose not to put things in quotation marks with footnotes because it made for a less distracting document to talk through with my kids. But I want to acknowledge that a few lines are copied almost directly from Rule of Life and Ourpact. Covenant Eyes gave me the idea for “content, communication, and clock.” And The Tech-Wise Family provided the overall inspiration, although nothing is quoted directly from it (unless it was unintentional). ↩

Praxislabs.org:

The use of a rule of life — a set of practices to guard our habits and guide our lives — goes at least back to the Old Testament figure Daniel. As an exile, Daniel was in an unfamiliar cultural context that provided no support for the practice of his faith — and as a leadership trainee in the court of Babylon, he was exposed to powerful pressures for assimilation to Babylon’s dominant ethos. He and his companions committed themselves to a vegetarian diet instead of “the king’s rations” (Dan. 1) and developed the practice of praising and praying to God three times a day in front of an open window (Dan. 6:10).

The rule covers the areas of time, money, imagination, decision-making. power, and community. The rule in one page is especially helpful.

Praxis cites Daniel as an inspiration, but the idea also reminded me of Benedict.

Andy Crouch on Mark 12:13-17 and its application to the U.S. Constitution’s three-fifths compromise:

Jesus asks for a coin and asks the seemingly innocent question: “Whose image [Greek, eikōn] is this? Whose title?” But the question is not innocent. Caesar has made the coin, imprinting his image upon it — ​so it is fine to give it back to him. But, then, who bears the image of God and thus belongs to Him? Human beings. Jesus’ answer not only evades His opponent’s trap — ​it raises the profound question of whether they, and we, are rendering all human beings to God with the dignity they deserve as His image bearers — ​or whether we are turning them into property and the currency of power and taxation.

I hadn’t really stopped to think about how Jesus’ teaching here doesn’t only ask his listeners what belongs to Caesar, but also, implicitly, what belongs to God. What bears his image?

Andy Crouch in his review of Gordon Smith’s Institutional Intelligence for Cardus:

This [fading Christian cultural backdrop] could be good news for Christian institutions—calling us away from the temptation of self-serving religious isolation into meaningful partnership with our neighbours who do not share our faith. But in an environment where Christianity is no longer taken for granted as the cultural background, the leader whose institutional intelligence is mostly directed inward toward their own members and staff, or upward toward their board and donors, may be missing the most important institutional dimension of all. We have to embrace the outward work of sustaining partnerships for the common good in an increasingly incomprehending, suspicious, and polarized world.

Jen Pollock Michel interviews Andy Crouch on his new book, The Tech-Wise Family:

[Andy:] Whenever you raise a criticism about technology, people will commonly say, “Well, technology can be used for good or for bad.” But I think more interesting questions are, “What is technology good for?” and “What is technology bad for?” Technology is good for lots of things. But what it is not good for—and perhaps what it is actively bad for—is the formation of persons. And where are people formed most intensively? For all of us, that is in the context of family. That’s where the dangers and limitations of technology become most evident. I’m much less concerned about how we use technology when we’re waiting in a line at the airport, even though I don’t deny that there is something formative (and de-formative) about needing my screen to distract me when I feel the least soupçon of boredom. But that is not as critical as [the family context].

Jemar Tisby and Tyler Burns interview Andy Crouch on RAA’s Pass the Mic:

The call of Christians is to be so deeply prayerful that we respond with creativity rather than just reaction. And what does that look like? Well it looks different for every individual. I think [of] art, music, literature, and poetry. Anything that doesn’t seem to accomplish anything — but is nonetheless transformative because it is so excellent and so beautiful — is really important. In other words, in a world of zero sum forced coercion and violence, one of the most powerful witnesses we can make is do something beautiful and excellent.

So good. I’ve had this in the queue for awhile, and now I wish I would have listened to it when it came out two weeks ago.